“I may not wear a mask, but a face like this keeps the rest of you at a distance. And my kind have been around for 125 million years. Hey, whatever works, right?
And my mother loves me. No matter what you think.
“So, look: It’s not fun waking up every morning and feeling like the Universe is out to get you. I know.
But you humans are luckier than us Kakapos. You just have to get your shots and use your heads. Oh, and leave me and mine alone, ok?”