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Books, Dragon Keeper's Handbook, Editing, Fiction, Proofing, Spellcheck, Spelling, Tools, Words, Writing
The Round and the Furry – When Good Letters Go Bad.
“My spelling is Wobbly. It’s good spelling but it Wobbles,
and the letters get in the wrong places.”
…A.A.Milne
A fragile day, today – last week still weighs heavily – and I was tempted to throw the corner open to you readers in a sort of Q & A: you ask me your most pressing editing questions and I provide pithy bon mots in return. However, the writer in me seems to have a hard time settling for such a terse exposition.
So, a story.
When I was a kid, I was a notoriously bad speller. Oh, I could memorize word lists for tests, but back when I was nine, the rules and vagaries of English spelling seemed as nonsensical as a Hatter’s high tea. As much as I loved roaming through dictionaries, etymology was an undiscovered country to this youthful traveler, one I didn’t knowingly explore for a few years yet. (A failing of our education system, perhaps, to rely on rote rather than reason.)
Fast forward several decades – irony running ahead of the wind – and I now help fill the household coffers by editing crossword puzzles. (I can think of a few teachers laughing their asses off over that!) I have taken advantage of time and experience and am a better, if somewhat indifferent, speller. I am also an occasionally errant typist, prey to dyslexic fingers and fur-laced keyboards. (Thank you, kids!)
This does not even begin to touch on the unexplained mystery of the eye/brain connection which leads us to see words as we expect them to be, not necessarily as they are. I find this most true when proofing my own work; I know the words inside and out and so my mind fills in blanks, automatically switches inverted letters, and glides over –ance when it should be –ence, because, well, the mind is funny that way.
Since nothing screams “Unprofessional!” like a text littered with typos and orthographic errors, the writing gods put their heads together and gifted us poor scriveners with spellcheck. Voila! Proofreading for dummies! All those pesky blunders red-lined and auto-corrected. Nothing could be simpler.
Except of course, nothing is ever that simple.
First, the standard spellcheck database is limited. This leads to erroneous markups or, conversely, if your spelling is truly atrocious, letter-salad flagged, but scant help provided re alternatives. In other words, you’re on your own. (Most word-processing dictionaries can be expanded – something which, as a fantasist, I do frequently, especially with esoterica and exotic names, so easy to make up but not always to remember. But, damn it Jim! We’re writers not lexicographers!)
More troublesome for some – and not really the fault of the program – is the fact that English is a whimsical language, rife with homonyms and frequently confused/misused words, for which spellcheck simply doesn’t suffice.
their/there/they’re
ade/aid/aide
who’s/whose
its/it’s
then/than
vane/vein/vain
alter/altar
affect/effect
bare/bear
discreet/discrete
sheer/shear
rain/rein/reign
council/counsel
rout/route/root
plane/plain
loathe/loath
grisly/grizzly
advice/advise
device/devise
being/been
led/lead
sear/seer
bread/bred
desert/dessert
The list goes on and on….
So what do you do when “I rote a tail about a plain full of grisly bares en root to the dessert” passes through spellcheck with flying colors?
You beet your Brest, pull your hare (but not by his ears), and remember that computers are only tulles.
Tools work best when we users knows our craft. And the best tools are always in our heads. Read your work slowly and with care. Don’t hesitate to drag out your dictionary, handy grammar guide, even a knowledgeable friend or two, if you are stuck. This is the picky-nit part of writing. Love it, hate it, but do it diligently, starting with the a spellcheck from top to bottom, front to back. For, despite flaws in the system, it is still a great proofing aid. Then, if you can, find fresh eyes to read your work through again. And again….
Next week I am going to do that Editor’s Corner Q & A. I’ll be on line all next Tuesday, so drop by. Ask me your questions, I’ll tell ewe no lyes. Oops!
If you have missed any past editions of Editor’s Corner, they are easily accessible at the Editor’s Corner Archive.
Computers are tulles! Ha ha! Whichever spellcheck just tried to change to “tiles.” I wanted to add principle/principal to the list, and also express ASTONISHMENT that my friend who used to read the dictionary for fun started life as a bad speller. There’s hope for us all. Oh – and a shoutout to the website “Damn You Autocorrect,” which is HALAREUS!!! (http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/)
I was a terrible speller. So bad that when I made it into the spelling bee in 5th grade – scored high on the written test – my teacher was convinced I had cheated. When I came in 3rd (a fluke, the kid before me who was a brilliant speller, forgot the second c in icicle) I thought his head was going to explode. >:-}
WHICH autocorrect changed to WHICHEVER. If people could spell we would not even HAVE autocorrect!
But always remember, a calculator does not an Einstein make. 🙂
A Puuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect post!
Thanks, Niamh. For fun and erudition. 🙂
And thank you for the reblog.
Always my pleasure!
Reblogged this on On The Plum Tree.
excellent post, enjoyed every word of it.
Thank you, Pendyala. Welcome to the Nest. 🙂
The list goes on and on, Shawn. I “Like” this post,
but my damn computer, or WordPress, or some gremlin
is not allowing the button to stop, so I can click on it.
I’ve become a good proofreader in my old age, and
I’m not sure there’s a book on the market without a mistake
or too. No big deal, really. when one keeps things in perspective.
I’ve been meaning to ask you about passive voice.
The ABC check here catches me pretty often. Two often!
One can’t “be” hardly anything anymore! Except a has been?
Peace and charms to ya, Teach! 🙂 Keith
Okay. It finally stopped. I LIKE you now.
And I like you, Uncle Tree. Yes, there is always something that seems to slip through into print. My first book was wonderfully proofed and galleys gone over and then when it came out a whole page was missing! It happened when the illustrations were tipped in. Just have to wait for the second printing to correct such things. 🙂
Passive voice is top of my list for next week’s Q & A, if you can wait until then. 🙂
A fun post. I type so fast that I invert letters and look dyslexic. Liked the “I Can Read This.” Saw it before. Thank heaven’s for spell check and a husband who proofs my posts.
Yes, that’s it, Patricia – fingers going too fast, right hand skipping what the left is doing. When it gets really bad for me, I pick up my fountain pen. Harder to invert letters when writing longhand – though not impossible. 😉
As picky and careful as I am, I still find bone-headed mistakes is most of my stuff. And I’m a writer and an editor! I think – especially with our own writing – we see what we want to see, not what’s on the page. And especially after we have read a piece or paragraph or sentence a dozen times. That’s why it’s so important to have an editor (or at least a few serious critiquers) on your side. Thanks again, Shawn, for all you have done for me with my stories. You have made ME a better editor as well. And now, with editing my poetry for my collection. I know, with your helpful suggestions, it’s going to be stellar! I’m so glad we found each other!
Likewise, Karen. It has been my pleasure.
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Thanks for the kind words and the reblog, Butterflies! Have a wonderful weekend.